Sitting here tonight in New York, listening to the report about the young mother that was shot tonight in Washington, D.C. I am at a loss as what to tell my children. It seems our children live in a world with more and more violence every day, and I as a Mom am at a loss every day as to what to tell them about this. The young women apparently had her infant in the car with her when whatever happened and she lost her life. I am sure we will learn more in the next few days about what lead her to the end of her life on the Capital, but as a Mom why take her child?
One of the biggest questions in my life is whether I am doing a good enough job as a mom. I wonder whether my many failings is affecting their young lives. See, I strive to be a good Mom and set a good example, but I am aware of my human failings – I curse to often, I still have too quick of a temper, I listen to music too loud, I can be lazy, I can eat to much chocolate, etc. So, I know that setting the best example is not always my personal strong suit. My kids have seen me at my weakest – crying, having lost my temper, and not sure which decision is the right one. But, I am blessed to have a supportive husband and family, who have always supported me in everything I do – and helped me in the uncertain mommy issues I have faced.
But I feel for those Mom’s that don’t have that support – either in themselves or with a significant other. While I am blessed with a great partner, I know there are Mom’s that face those uncertain moments of parenting alone. I hope they find the strength in themselves to face those Mommy moments, that have left me feeling unsure if I have done the right thing with the kids or not.
How do you know what the right answer is to questions like, “Why were those two ladies kissing?” Or “How did the baby get out of your stomach?” Or “Where did my teacher go to when she died?” Or “Why does cancer happen?”
I don’t know that there are any “right” answers to these or the thousand other questions my kids have ask me over the years. I just know I have always tried to be honest, without bias, and at their age level. Sometimes much to my husbands chagrin.
I just hope that being this way is not messing them up too bad.
There are no right answers to parenting anymore. You cannot lock your kids away and present a fairy tale world. Or at least I don’t think that children raised that way function very well overall. Today’s world is harsh and unfair and maybe I am messing up somewhat as a Mom, but I am trying at least.